We'll see

Lately I've been feeling out of touch and disconnected; from my surroundings, the people around me, from my own self. Do you ever feel that way? When all you can think about are the problems, the minutiae of every day life, when you end up worrying too much or too little about things that are senseless or of grave importance that you end up cutting yourself off from all the things you hold dear? When your life seems like it's just passing you by?






On the beginning of February was the one year anniversary of my dad's sudden death. It was a difficult month, in all respects, still I didn't share any of it with you. I wanted to keep it light over here, I didn't want to let you in on my rather gloomy world as of late.






Perhaps winter is to blame. The days are still dark, even if March is here, just barely, the skies have that all too familiar shade of grey, the fog is surrounding every building, tree and obstructs my view of the world it seems, and the sun only peeks through the clouds for mere moments; not enough to lift my spirits.






Bad things happen, I know, not just death, but illness, depression, fights among people who love each other deeply, mood swings, lack of money, of space, of time, of will to create. The antipode of all that is life, breathing clean air, laughter, cuddling with ones love, sharing food. Yes, sharing food always comes into play when I'm thinking about what really matters in life.






Food, sharing it, enjoying it with the ones you love or offering it to those who need it more than you do. Celebration, bereavement, a dinner table set with plain dinnerware and extraordinary food, a picnic, a lunch with friends.






I don't care if all this makes sense or not. It's raw, it's me. It's my space, it's my voice, it's my food. Please, join me.






I have been doing a lot of cooking lately. Not sharing it here but with the people I love; my S. and my brother who was staying with us for a while. I was not sharing it with you but the time has come.






Perhaps I will be posting more these following weeks, perhaps not. We'll see. Perhaps with less words and more photos and actual food, perhaps without food at all and just me, talking, writing, we'll see. What I do know, is that I need to make a change here. I need change. Only that can move me forward.
We'll see.






The recipe...
The Mouclade is a classic French dish of steamed mussels in a curry cream sauce. It is a dish that needs to be shared and enjoyed among friends.
A large plate of mussels is put in the middle of the table, the creamy sauce is poured generously over the top and the parsley is scattered around. Hands start digging in, taking the mussels one by one, with the rich golden sauce dripping all over the tablecloth. The bread is crunchy and crumbs fall on the floor and the wine is abundant and no one stops until there's only a speck of sauce left in the plate, and the last person holding the last piece of bread dares not let it go to waste so they stand up, put their hand inside the large dish and bring that last, glorious bite to their mouth.











Mouclade - French Steamed Mussels in a Curry Cream Sauce
Adapted from Le Cordon Bleu

This is a creamy, rich, indulgent mussel dish. The curry adds an exotic accent to it and makes it ideal for cold winter nights, or crisp spring evenings that are yet to come.

The crème fraîche and egg yolks add creaminess and thicken the sauce, as does also the beurre manié. Beurre manié means 'kneaded butter' in French and it is a hand-kneaded paste of softened butter and flour (in equal parts) that is whisked into sauces, soups or stews and that works as a thickening agent. It is extremely easy to make, as you will see in the recipe below.






Yield: 4-6 servings

Ingredients

for the mussels
1 ½ kg whole mussels with their shells (I used Jumbo-sized mussels)
150 ml dry white wine, like Sauvignon Blanc
2 dried bay leaves
20 black whole peppercorns
1 small shallot, finely chopped
A handful of fresh parsley stalks

for the beurre manié
20 g unsalted butter, softened
20 g all-purpose flour

for the sauce
15 g unsalted butter
1 large shallot, finely chopped
1 large garlic clove, minced
10 g (2 Tbsp) curry powder
1 Tbsp Armagnac or Cognac or Brandy
400 ml mussel liquid
250 ml cream, full-fat
Salt
Freshly ground black pepper

2 large egg yolks
65 g (3 Tbsp) crème fraîche

A handful of fresh, flat-leaf parsley leaves, finely chopped for sprinkling over the dish

Special equipment: colander, fine sieve, muslin or cheese cloth, brush for cleaning the mussels


Preparation

Cleaning the mussels
Read here on how to clean mussels.

Cooking the mussels
In a large, heavy-bottomed pan, add the mussels, wine, bay leaves, peppercorns, the finely chopped shallot and the parsley stalks. Turn heat on to medium-high and close the lid. When steam starts to get released from the sides of the pan, turn heat down to medium, shake the pan gently and let mussels steam for about 5 minutes or until their shells have opened. Shake the pan every minute or so, in order to ensure the even cooking of the mussels. Don't shake the pan too hard because the shells might break. Be careful not to overcook the mussels because they will dry out and become rubbery. You need them to be plump and juicy.


Drain the mussels and reserve the liquid. Discard any mussels that did not open while steaming. Set mussels aside and cover them to keep them warm.
Pass the mussel liquid through a fine sieve lined with a muslin or cheese cloth to get rid of any sand or impurities, and into a bowl, and measure it. You will need about 400 ml. Set mussel liquid aside.

for the beurre manié
In a small bowl, add the softened butter and the flour. Mix and knead with your fingers until you have a smooth paste.
Simple as that!


Note: The beurre manié can keep in the fridge, in an airtight container, for up to 2 weeks, or in the freezer for up to 3 months. Use it to thicken up sauces, soups or stews as described below in this recipe.

for the sauce
In a medium-sized, heavy-bottomed saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the finely chopped shallot and the minced garlic and turn heat down to low. Sauté them until soft, stirring constantly so they don't catch, and add the curry powder. Stir it around, frying it, for 1 minute, and then add the Armagnac (or Cognac or Brandy). As soon as the alcohol smell disappears, pour the cooking juices from the mussels into the saucepan. Turn heat up to medium-high and bring to the boil. Add the cream, turn heat down to low and simmer for 5 minutes. Season to taste and if necessary, reduce the sauce a little to improve the flavor.


Add the beurre manié to the sauce little by little, whisking it lightly into the sauce as you do. The beurre manié contains raw flour so you need to cook it in order to get rid of the raw flour smell and taste.
While the sauce simmers away gently, whisk the egg yolks along with the crème fraîche in a medium-sized bowl. Add a little of the sauce into the bowl to temper the mixture (bring it to temperature), whisking continually, and then pour the egg yolk-crème fraîche mixture into the saucepan. Do not allow the sauce to come to the boil. Turn heat off.

Note: The sauce is supposed to be a little soupy. It is not supposed to be a thick sauce.

Serve the dish
Place the mussels in a large, deep serving dish and pour the sauce over the top. Sprinkle generously with the finely chopped parsley leaves and serve.
Alternatively, you can serve the mussels in individual soup bowls.

Accompany the dish with grilled/toasted, crunchy baguette slices and plenty of white wine.